Thursday, October 20, 2011

My friend is dying

You learn to write by writing.  I'm writing a eulogy here.  If you don't care for this stuff, come back when I'm in a cheery mood.

One of the prices you pay for having friends is losing them.  A college friend, some one I have known for fourty years, is dying.  I sat with him for a while yesterday.  Consciousness seems to be a place he just visits occasionally, not somewhere he spends much time.  I don't know if he will even remember that I was there, yet, the hours I sat quietly beside his bed don't seem a waste.  I don't want to go all woo-woo mystic, but he has the same shadow on him that my husband's dad had just before he passed.

 It helps a lot to have a firm conviction that the end of this life is not the end of everything, and that I will see him again on the other side.  He will be out of pain and free from fear.  He will be just as young and strong and full of energy as he was when we first met. And oh, what a supercharged dynamo of energy he was!  If there's anything to astrology, he would prove it, because he was Leo to the tonails.  His personality filled a room, and he was the life of any party.  He was charming, sexy, witty, and fiercely intelligent. And like any male lion, he was a bit lazy and ego-centric.  At times he could even be an asshole, but for those of us who love him, he is OUR asshole and we love him still.  The earth will spin slower without his long stride to kick it on.


  1. Oh Roxie. This is a rite of passage, not just for the dying, but for the living. In earlier times, it was often referred to as a vigil, meaning a sacred space of spiritual waiting.We are too seldom allowed to experience this, but I'm sure your presence has been noted. Your words, though sad, are also life affirming as you describe the dynamic personality you knew so well. Thanks for letting us drop in and sit with you awhile.

  2. "The earth will spin slower without his long stride to kick it on."

    Fine writin,' this is.

    Sorry fer yore loss--consciousness is permeable, an' yore bein' along on his bedside vigil is known to him, if not to you.

    Bless him, an' you.

  3. Oh, yes, Roxie, that price we pay for our friendships... our hearts crack open and the most touching and amazing thing is that we continue to love anyway.

    My best to you in these difficult days.

  4. A touching tribute to an "ongoing" friendship. I too believe it doesn't end at the graveside. Best wishes to his trip beyond and to you, here and coping with the change of venue.