"Oh great Alpha cat and Mother of us all,
Be kind to your kittens this night.
Keep the rats of famine from our door
that we may never see the bottom of our bowls.
Shelter us with your thick fur in warmth and safety.
Bestow on us the comfort of your purring.
Chase the squirrels of evil off our roof
that we might sleep in safety and peace.
Have mercy on our thick-skulled servants
And grant them laps of warmth and stillness.
All praise to you, great Alpha Cat,
mother of us all."