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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

J is for

Jokes.

With this alphablog challenge, I write something passable, then the next day I realize that I should have chosen something else.  Yesterday should have been indolence.  "Had I breath of lillies and teeth of pearl I might call it indolence, but I must confess to being lazy."  Oscar Wilde said something like this.  The memory is the first to go.  I don't remember what happens next.

But, since I don't get the notion for what I should have done untill I actually DO something, here are a few of my favorite jokes.

 I dreamed I was hanging out with the great philosophers of history, drinking and laughing and having a grand time.  "I'm going to get anther beer."  I announced.  "Any one else want some?"  Renee Descarte said, "Oh, I think not." and disappeared.

If you trip over something that isn't there, is it an obstacle illusion?

So this group of Northern Spanish sheepherders came to Barcelona to make a political statement and were assigned a police escort.  Being very rural folks, the sheepherders were ill-equipped to deal with modern conveniences such as flush toilets, and escalators.  One fellow fell while trying to cross the road in front of a moped, and was injured, so the escort had the rest of them wait in a large doorway till he could get the accident victim to the hospital.  When he returned, he found his charges engaged in pissing contests, competing in harassing the paserbys, and fighting with one another.  The moral of this story is that you should never put all your basques in one exit.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?  Fish.

Why did the possum cross the road?  No one knows.  There have never been any survivors.

Heard any good ones lately?

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